It is important to be able and know how to communicate with a person who is in a state of acute negative stress, because people who have experienced a crisis event may be depressed, anxious. Some blame themselves for what happened. Therefore, keeping your own calm and showing understanding, you need to help a person to survive, to re-realize the crisis state. To support a person so that they feel safe, to make them understand that they will be protected and cared for properly.
Listening to someone's story is a great support. However, it is important not to force to talk about what is experienced. Recall that people who have experienced a stressful (crisis, traumatic) situation decide on their own whether to report what happened to them or not. After all, not always a person has the ability, the resource and the desire to share personal details and experiences. And that's normal. For many who are in a state of crisis, it may be important to show respect. It is appropriate just to be around, even if silently; to show indifference at the non-verbal and verbal levels. It is necessary to say unobtrusively that you are there and ready to provide support, because a person should understand that when they are ready and willing to talk, you always listen to them.
Be calm and non-verbal. You should not burden a person with informative content that they are currently unable to accept. If a person is silent, just be close to her, keep pauses in communication, monitor vegetative and emotional reactions. Gives the person the opportunity to be silent if necessary. Such a respite will create the basis for the formation of mutual understanding, ease, sincerity, and can also create conditions for openness.
It is important to build interaction with caution and patience. If a person is not ready to discuss certain issues, one should not insist on a conversation. You can gently, correctly and delicately try to shift the focus of the affected person's attention to pleasant or neutral topics.
It is important to be able to listen to people to understand the situation they are in and their needs. So you can calm down and provide the necessary help to those who need it.
When talking to a person, it is important to listen to:
EYES — showing close attention;
WITH YOUR EARS — to really hear what is bothering a person;
My heart is with compassion and respect.
If possible, find a safe and quiet place to talk, create elementary comfortable conditions. Por proteger un persona de attención necessários, você proteger su rechte a privacidad y dignity. We,,. It is not recommended to touch a person if there is no certainty that it is acceptable for her.
Try to be empathetic, but neutral in evaluating life events and the actions of others. Listen carefully if a person has a desire to talk about what happened. Show all your appearance that you are listening carefully to the interlocutor, for example, nodding your head or saying short confirmatory lines. Try to understand and feel what the person is going through. Express your condolences when a person talks about their feelings, a loss suffered or important events (loss of home, death of a loved one, etc.): “I am very sorry that this happened! I understand how difficult it is for you.” Avoid negative statements, show a positive perception of the world, life, people.
If you are around and want to help, be natural and unobtrusive. Gives the interlocutor a sense of stability and reliability. Do not rush, do not interrupt and rush the interlocutor (for example, you should not look at the clock, or talk too fast), do not make promises, the fulfillment of which you are not sure.
Be open and easy to communicate. Honestly tell what you know, however, when you are not sure how to answer correctly, or do not know the answer, you can always say this: “I do not know, but I will try to find out for you.” Provide information so that it is easy to understand, in simple words. Even if you do not know something, do not try to exaggerate your competence. You should not invent what you do not know, or use special terms. Provide factual information. At the same time, do not burden the interlocutor with unnecessary information, do not talk about your own difficulties or tell the interlocutor the stories heard from others. Also, do not take on excessive responsibility, there are issues in which you can help, and there are questions that your interlocutor should solve.
In case of activating negative experiences of the person (despair, sadness, irritation, crying, etc.), do not try to calm with words, it is better to show simple care (serve a glass of water, a napkin, etc.). If a person has a feeling of unreality of what is happening, detachment from the environment, then to restore contact with the environment and self-control, suggest performing techniques of soothing breathing and grounding.
Encourage the person's efforts to cope with the situation on their own. Tasks je to instil faith in the strength of the person himself, in his ability to take care of himself, to overcome everything that he had to experience.
