How to support someone who needs it — advice from psychologists
Now more than ever it is important to support each other, whether it is a relative, a neighbor or an ordinary passer-by. To support means not to fall, to help find resistance in a particular situation. It gives us a sense of security and faith in ourselves.
What do we need to understand before giving support to a person?
Take care of yourself first. If you feel unable to support another person, take care of yourself.
Feelings are important. One person may be angry and the other may feel depressed. It is better to help a person express their experiences.
Help or advice? A more effective method would be to help a person find a way out of the situation that has arisen than to give advice.
The traumatic situation is individual. Everyone has their own life experience, so you should abandon the evaluative attitude and criticism of human behavior.
How to express support:
- use simple words: “I hear you”, “I accept you”, “I recognize your difficult situation”, “I am ready to be in it with you.” No need to say “I understand you” if this is not the case. Express your condolences honestly, but carefully;
- listen. Many feel the need to talk about their problem. It is necessary to gently help a person talk about feelings and express everything that is in her soul. However, it is important not to force and not to ask, but to give the opportunity to choose what you want to tell about;
- offer specific and simple help. When you do not know what words to support a person in a difficult moment, you can offer your participation. Sometimes the simplest things help much better than any conversation: drink tea together, take a walk, find out the information that a person needs;
- focus on positive qualities, skills, opportunities.
And most importantly: to support a person in a difficult moment, you need to sincerely believe that he can cope. When people are in a stressful situation, they lose faith in themselves and their ability to cope with life.
In this state, everyone needs someone to believe in him more than he himself.
More advice on how to help yourself and others during periods of stress and anxiety is provided by the “Handbook of Barrierlessness”, created within the framework of the All-Ukrainian Mental Health Program at the initiative of First Lady Elena Zelenska.
It is available at the link: https://bf.in.ua
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